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What a fool I am.
What have I done?
Claiming to be your son.
But acting like a heathen.
Someone who asks for truth
But doesn’t act on it.
A man capable of much evil.
Thinking he can just do what he wants when he wants
A brute beast, carnal, wicked I can be.
Without you I am nothing,
A force for evil instead of good.
God, how do you still love me when I’ve betrayed you?
It doesn’t seem right.
Week after week I ignored you,
Wanting only what I could take for my selfish gain.
God, I am sorry.
Crush this rebellious spirit,
Resurrect one that seeks you first and obeys you always.
God, out of these ashes would you please make something soft, moldable, usable in your hands.
Would you look again at me and smile?
I want your face to shine on me again.
I want you God in all your glory.
I want nothing less than your best.
I love you Lord.
I do.


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